drifting (always back to you)
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: Inej has finally gotten out of the Barrel. She is a free woman with no contract to bind her. So why does she find herself returning?


_For the lovely Mary via GGE. Enjoy, dear, and happy birthday._

 _Word Count: 1104_

* * *

How long has it been since she'd set foot in the Barrel? A year? More? On the sea, it is hard to keep track of the days. They blur together into some nonsensical string of faces and noise and salty air.

Inej hesitates, her foot lifted, ready yet reluctant to fall against the grimy street. The Barrel holds so many terrible memories. For a moment, all she can see is the chaos; all she can feel is the pain.

But there's something else there, something beautiful and wonderful. It's what has brought her back.

"Coming ashore, Miss?"

Inej swallows dryly and offers a quick nod. Slowly, she lets her foot find the ground. She isn't the same girl she had been the last time she'd been here. The Wraith had been fierce but still so timid, so quick to let the pain consume her. She is different now. Each step she takes holds a newly found confidence. She keeps her head high, her dark eyes narrowing as she searches the crowds of people.

He isn't there. Of course he isn't. Kaz doesn't know she's returning yet, but she still hoped.

It almost makes her laugh. She believes in love, but even the thought that her soul can somehow call out to his across the distance is ridiculous. Love isn't that easy; if she wants that man, she'll have to find him herself. The gods aren't going to just drop him in her lap.

She ventures deeper into the Barrel. While it looks nicer now, not much has changed. Masked figures still scurry past, glancing over their shoulders as though someone might somehow see through their disguise and know the sins they hold in their hearts. Brothels and casinos are still in full swing, and Inej hopes that the workers are there willingly.

 _On the sea and in the city. Brick by brick._

She had meant it. It isn't enough to stop the slave ships and free the men, women, and children within them. There are still so many people within the city who have been conned and trapped, who will never find a way home again. Inej's work is far from over, but she can't bring herself to think about that now.

…

She lingers outside the Crow Club. It had been a home for her once. She had learned to fight there and learned how to stand her ground.

And yet, it doesn't feel like home now. She misses the people, not the place.

"Well, look at you," Anika beams, patting Inej on the shoulder. "Rotty said you'd come back, but I didn't believe him. Told him you were too smart for that."

Inej offers her a small smile. Too smart. Perhaps she is a fool for returning. So few manage to escape this hellhole. Why would anyone come back if they don't have to?

She already knows the answers. Those who get away don't have anything that keeps them tethered to this place. Once their contracts are up, they're free to find a life for themselves. Maybe Inej's life isn't here, but her heart is.

"Is Kaz around?" she asks.

Anika shakes her head. "You know how he is. Busy man," she laughs. "Taking over the Dregs means he's busier than ever."

Inej deflates slightly. She knows she shouldn't have expected much. After all, there's neither commitment nor expectation between them. Still, it hurts. "Same room?" she asks.

"Yeah," Anika confirms, turning and starting for the door. "Come on. Everyone will be glad to see you."

But Inej has already disappeared into the shadows, carefully scaling the walls. A faint laugh escapes her lips. It's so easy to fall back into her old habits. Maybe she just doesn't want to see any more old faces; maybe she just misses the slight adrenaline rush that comes with her old ways. Whatever it is, she's still grinning as she pulls herself onto the ledge and slides in through his window.

It's just the way she remembers it— practically bare, no signs of the life Kaz had lived before the Dregs.

Inej collapses on the bed. All she has to do now is wait.

…

She doesn't remember falling asleep, but the sudden _tap, tap, tap_ against the floor causes her to stir. She yawns, rubbing her eyes as she sits up. It takes several seconds for her to remember where she is and why she doesn't feel the gentle rocking as waves crash against her ship.

"In the Barrel, an unexpected visit from the Wraith is known to end in bloodshed," Kaz muses, leaning against his cane. A small grin tugs at his lips. "Should I be afraid?"

"My dream has come true," she teases, climbing to hee feet. "I always wanted to strike fear in your heart, Kaz Brekker."

For a moment, neither move. They stand there, watching each other, a tense silence hanging between them. This isn't how Inej had imagined their reunion, but she isn't surprised. Kaz is still broken; he will never be the type to run after anyone with open arms.

He breaks the silence first. His cane raps noisily against the floor as he comes closer, his from broadening. "You came back," he says softly.

"I had a reason to."

"And what reason is that?"

Inej rolls her eyes as she closes the distance between them. "I think you already know."

Kaz pulls away, and Inej feels a tightness in her chest. Has she said the wrong thing? Her stomach ties itself into knots as she worries she might have come all this way for nothing.

He slides off one glove, then the other before tossing them onto the bed. "You want me without armor, remember?" he whispers.

He's visibly shaking. Inej has seen him face down some of the most fearsome foes, but nothing has ever gotten to him the way this seems to. She still doesn't quite understand why he has trouble touching people; maybe she'll never know. Still, this is more than enough.

His fingers ghost lightly across her cheek. "I missed you."

She doesn't know how long this will last. Whatever demons Kaz holds inside make it impossible for him to touch her for long. Still, he's trying. It may always be like this; they may only ever live through small, occasional touches. Somehow, that's enough for her.

She has a life taking down slavers, and now she has a man waiting for her without armor.

"I missed you too," she whispers against his chest, her slender arms wrapping around his body.

Once, she had lost everything. Now, she has gained it back tenfold.


End file.
